What type of marriage vows should we consider? (Vows Part 2 of 3)

In part 1 of this series, we talked about what you need to know about wedding vows. In this post, we’ll talk about different types of wedding vows.

vows 2

4 Ways to Make your Marriage Vows

There are 3 basic ways to say your marriage vows—and one other option you might want to consider. (We’ll get to that fourth option in a minute!)

Reading Your Vows to Each Other
This is, perhaps, the most personal way to offer your vows to one another. You can speak in your own words, reading so you don’t have to worry about forgetting to say something important to you.

Repeat After Your Officiant
These vows, again, can be in your own words. The difference here is that your officiant will speak each line and you’ll repeat it. Couple’s sometimes prefer this to reading their vows, but there is something to keep in mind. For repeated vows, everything is said multiple times—twice for you and twice for your spouse. So you may want to think about how long your vows are going to be if you use this style of vows.

Question and Answer Vow
Sometimes called “The Asking”, this is when your officiant asks you questions and you answer with “I do” or “I will”. Or you may answer with “we will” together.

These marriage vows are often the choice of couples where one or both are shy or nervous about speaking in front of everyone. These vows can be just as personal as the previous two options. What I’ve done with shy couples is work with them to create personal vows and then I just rephrase them in the form of questions that I ask them.

So this:

I Sam, take you, John, to be my husband and my partner. I’ll share my dreams with you and I hope you’ll always share yours with me. I’ll you look after you and I’ll let you look after me. I promise to work with you to build our life and family together.

Becomes this:

Celebrant: Sam, will you take John to be your husband and your partner? Will you share your dreams with him as he shares his with you? Will you look after him and let him look after you? Will you work with him to build your life and family together?

Sam: I will.

So what’s the fourth option?

You can mix and match your styles of vows. Some couples want to read personal vows but still want that “I do” moment. Your officiant can help you arrange it all.

When I got married, I felt very strongly that our wedding vows should be between the two of us. In other words, I felt we should ask each other directly, those things that were very important to us. So that’s what we did.

Cris:
Paul, Will you be my husband?
Will you love, honor, cherish and look out for me?
Will you be my buddy, on land and under water?
Will you always tell me the truth?
Will you be my friend, my partner, my soulmate, and co-keeper of our brain?
Will you promise to always work through the rough patches with me?
Will you help me stay grounded and encourage me to follow my dreams?
Will you share your dreams with me, so we can both build our dreams, and our lives, together?

Paul: Yes, I will.

Paul:
Cris, Will you always keep your big handbag stocked so we can fight minor and major disasters together?
Will you let me borrow your car, even if I break it a little loading my 120 steel cylinders into it?
Will you do your best to get me to go to sleep before 3 AM every night?
Will you PLEASE finish the academics for the Advanced Open Water Diver course?
Will you share your dreams with me, so we can both build our dreams, and our lives, together?
Will you promise to always work through the rough patches with me?
Will you love, honor, cherish and look out for me?
Cris, will you please be my wife?

Cris: Yes, I will.

Stay tuned! In part 3 of this series, we’ll cover when to write your vows and what to write.

I’d love to help you make your vows part of an truly memorable ceremony. Contact me about your wedding today.

Go to Part 1—Wedding Vows: What you Need to Know
Go to Part 3— Writing your wedding vows–when and what to write

Inclusive Ceremonies now offers vow writing Services!

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